Live gaming: Nachos rages against the first hour of Rage

First and foremost, if you only read one sentence of this intro, make it the next one. This is not a review. This is, instead, a lovely attempt at a new DLC section on live gaming, featuring the inane inner ramblings of me, Nachos Justice, as I re-take on the first hour of Rage. I say “re-take” because I played the first hour of Rage in Germany during my recent gamescom visit and, alas, not a whole lot has changed. But I’m getting ahead of myself, because you can see the nitty gritty of the triumphs and pitfalls of Rage after the jump.
What you’ll see below is taken directly from my Twitter page that was tweeted out live as I played through the first hour-and-a-bit of Rage on PC. Just to clarify (again), this is not a review. You’ll have to wait a couple of weeks before you hear my full thoughts on Rage, but for now, have a look at my experience below. There are a few images and even a video in there to spice things up. Enjoy!

Just started Rage and I’m hating the lack of graphical tweaking options in settings.

It may not be the first game to do it, but every FPS needs the quick invert/un-invert test at the beginning.

Errr, screen tearing? Really?

Don’t change where you’re looking too quickly or you’ll notice the engine rendering. Does that happen on consoles?

Did that mutant just die because he got sniped in the ass? Heh. Classy.

Is it just me or does the lip syncing seem a bit… weird?

It must be said, Rage alt-tabs like a champ.

Yuck. Noticeable rendering when moving from first- to third-person perspective.

Getting thrown from buggy = cool. Getting teleported back to my buggy after being thrown = uncool.

Battlefield 3 has spoiled me with its simple option to tap right-mouse for iron sights. I don’t want to hold the damn button to aim!

Note to weird wasteland people: mouse aim counters action roll every time.

Uh oh, they’re taking me to “the kill room”. At least that sounds a whole lot friendlier than “the rape dungeon”, right?

Oh, yay, a defib QTE.

That’s disgusting! Also, there’s a pile of bodies (image below).

It loads really, really fast.

Enemies are shrugging off headshots, and yet I just killed one with a single shot to the arm.

Can’t really see the point in aiming down the sights when shooting from the hip is so freakin’ accurate.

Hell, I’m jumping backwards and still have 100% accuracy.

Snuck up on a guy and shot him in the back of the head. Apparently, he said no to death.

I like the way they move… y’know, as I’m popping rounds into their sorry asses.

“Use space to brake hard.” Well, at least they’re not in denial about how this buggy is apparently incapable of drifting.

A Wingstick that has a nano core for smart targetting is hardly difficult to learn to master, Loosum.

Also, what kind of name is ‘Loosum’?

Vehicles don’t actually collide with objects before they throw you. Weird!

Gibbing bodies = no loot. Oh :(.

On a mission where the reward is a shotgun… just killed a guy with a shotgun… his shotgun disappeared. WTF?

Ramos knew that Juno was dead before I told anyone. Only one likely answer for this… he’s a witch!

My anti-ADS statement (video embedded below):

Oh, sweet, bunny hopping!

Further to my shotgun motivation frustration, I started the game with a sawn-off shotgun.

No brake noises on this buggy… odd!

Phallinx Hagar looks like a healthier version of the Yellow Bastard.

Old guy told me not to go into the sewers. Can you guess where I went?

Mutants are fast. Nice! Buckshot is faster. Sweet.

Scurry all you want, you creepy mutant bastards. My aim scurries faster.

Digging the physics, animations, prettier textures and fire… mmm, fire looks sweet.

I was pwning enemies so hard the police just rocked up. Well, maybe not that, but there were police here!

With their powers combined… (image below)

Silly enemies, you can’t shoot me if you have your back to me.

Check it out, it’s like my thumb is my cock (image below).

100% accurate blindfire. That’s a neat trick.

Pro tip: Remember, the wasteland is a dangerous place.

In the future, buggies can flip themselves.

Oh, apparently I can’t kill NPCs. Boo!

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