Review: Transformers: Dark of the Moon

There’s a part of me that really wishes Michael Bay would just bite the bullet and start shooting porn, or get himself some high priced escorts so we don’t have to be subjected to his two and half hour jerkfests loosely disguised as a film. The introduction of Victoria’s Secret model Rose Huntington-Whitely and his pubescent focus on her rather than giant robots signaled the last gasp for the franchise. This latest offering is visually astounding yet downright laughable when the focus is on the human components, which it is unfortunately for the majority of the film.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon feels more like an unfunny romantic comedy for the most part, until Bay remembers that the word ‘Transformers’ is in the title and decides to knock out some amazing CGI action.

“The film truly jumps the shark when the focus becomes more about Sam’s insecurity and jealously towards Carly’s boss Dylan (Patrick Dempsey) and Michael Bay’s ridiculous obsession with allegedly wise cracking mini-transformers as comic relief, that fails just as stupendously as it did in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. At this point the audience has lost any interest in the human characters barring a solid performance by Shia LaBeouf, some hilarious moments by John Turturro reprising his role as Simmons, strongly supported by the always solid Ken Jeong and an all too short look in by Alan Tudyk.”

To get the rest of my Australian Penthouse review click the NSFW link here…

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Dave Kozicki

Shotgun Samurai
Video game reviewer, presenter and enthusiast. Film and TV-aholic. Pop culture geek. T-shirt and sneaker addict. All around nice guy and one hell of a sexy beast. Writer for Official PlayStation Magazine AU, AusGamers and Hyper Magazine.